10 Comments
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Kim West's avatar

I love a piece on challenging misconceptions! The reminder that couples therapy doesn’t have to begin in crisis feels especially important. So often we think of support only when things are breaking, rather than as a way to nurture and strengthen what we care about. Thanks for sharing such a relational and compassionate view of couples therapy, Beth 💛✨

Beth O’Brien's avatar

HI Kim,

The couples who want to work pro-actively on their relationship are doing themselves a favor, especially in long term relationships where partners focus and interests can change. Without a strong link, couples often grow apart.

Some couples who decided their relationship can’t be repaired say wish they had come in earlier.

Jess, The Creator's avatar

Thank you for this amazing piece, Beth!

Beth O’Brien's avatar

Hey Jessica, thanks so much for reading.

Glad you liked it

Jess, The Creator's avatar

Your very welcome!

Martha Chabinsky's avatar

Thank you Beth for you wisdom and kindness. It’s a gift to find a friend here.

Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Well said, Beth 😊

Beth O’Brien's avatar

Thanks, Vicki

Martha Chabinsky's avatar

Have been in so much therapy over the years. Now he is doing Beyond Driven….it’s ok, but there’s too much focus on childhood trauma and so he is stuck there. I hope for progress.

Beth O’Brien's avatar

Martha, progress can be slow going. I am hoping along with you. Working with an individual counselor or program can add a lot of insight on our behavior. My experience has taught me that making positive relationship changes is best done together in couples counseling.

I am trained in PACT Couple therapy, which emphasizes how partners are wired differently—this can lead to misunderstandings and unmet expectations. PACT also focuses on nervous system arousal (when we get upset and dysregulated trying to talk about hard things) and co-regulation. There is a third piece that looks at attachment styles and how they show up in one’s current relationship. My couples seem to love this approach and find benefit.